Barely Hanging On
by XxSasuNaruLovexX
Summary: Naruto is suicidal and Sasuke is addicted to cocaine. Becoming roommates was the last thing they wanted, especially in a rehab facility.
1. Chapter 1

Sasuke inhaled from him pipe. "Shit." He chuckled. He lie on his bedroom floor, feeling the euphoria course through his body. Cocaine made him this way. He forgot his problems, his fucked up family, and the death of his best friend. He viciously rubbed at his eyes to stop from crying. "Damn Sai, you would have loved this shit man." He smiled at the ceiling. The tattoo on his arm was his last memory of Sai. He died in a drug raid last year. His tattoo read 'Fly High Sai, Rest in Peace' Sasuke smiled at his memory. He smoked all for him anymore. It was the only thing that kept him numb from all the bullshit in his life.

"Sasuke!" his father yelled from downstairs. Sasuke shot up, "Shit!" he cursed and started hiding him stash. "Sasuke!" his father was pounding at the door and fiddling with the lock. "Open the damn door! I know you're in there getting high!" he screamed. Sasuke was beginning to hyperventilate and his eyes blurred as his father busted down the door.

Sasuke woke up in the hospital, his parents were outside of his room talking to the doctor. "Damn it." Sasuke said, slamming his head against the pillow. "Sasuke…" his mother whispered. "What do you want?" he spat. "We're sending you to rehab, you leave tomorrow." His father came in. "Oh that's just fucking great, thanks mom and dad, looks like Itachi's got one more brownie point on me." He laughed, clearly pissed off. Sasuke's mother had tears in her eyes and she left the room, his father behind her. Sasuke just shook his head and fell back asleep.

The next day, his bags were packed and he was being driven to the rehab center. He didn't speak and stared out the window the whole time. When they arrived, Sasuke read "Brooklane Mental Health Services and Rehabilitation" and he sighed. This was his first time in rehab and he knew it was going to be Hell. He already was craving coke so bad that he had the shakes. "Damn it." He cursed at his shaking hands.

Sasuke's parents checked him in the facility while he was completely stripped and had a thorough cavity search, it was the most humiliating thing he had ever gone through. They took all of his clothes that had zippers, buttons, or ties. He was given simple clothing and slip on shoes. "I'm not fucking suicidal, I'm a coke head, idiots." He cursed. The aides dismissed this and that pissed Sasuke off further. "Goodbye son, we love you." He mother said. He gave them the middle finger and nothing more. He was walked down a hallway to his new room.

"You're going to have a roommate Sasuke, his name is Naruto." The aide said. "Oh great." Sasuke sighed. "Oh don't worry Uchiha, you won't get much out of him." He shot back. Sasuke just stayed quite. "Now Sasuke, you will have routine group and independent therapy every single day, breakfast is at 8 AM, lunch is at 1 PM, and dinner is at 6 PM. Snacks will be provided between meals if requested." He said and opened the door to his new room. "Naruto?" the aide asked. "Hm?" said a little voice in the corner of the room. The blonde raised his head from his sketch pad to see the raven there in all of his glory. "This is your new roommate, Sasuke." He smiled and widened the door for Sasuke to walk in.

The room was small, a bed to each side, pressed against the wall. A night stand next to each and a small door that lead to a bathroom. The walls were standard white, but Naruto had personalized his side of the room with drawings and his favorite color, orange. He had an orange comforter with white sheets. He had a lamp with a red lamp shade. Sasuke admired the drawings taped to the walls, they were really good. The first thing he noticed about Naruto were his bright blue eyes and spiky blonde hair. He had three whisker-like scars on each cheek and he was wearing a black pullover hoodie and gray sweatpants. His sketch pad was laying on his lap. "Nice to meet you Sasuke, I'm Naruto." He managed a small smile.

Sasuke just nodded his head and sat on his bed, gray sheets and white sheets, hopefully his parents wouldn't be assholes and bring him some of his stuff to this Hell hole. Naruto stuck his head back into his drawing and Sasuke laid on his side towards the wall. His shaking was getting worse and he couldn't stand it. Naruto kept looking over, trying to hide it. Sasuke could feel eyes staring at him. "What the fuck are you looking at?" he snapped. Naruto frowned and just went back to drawing. That pissed Sasuke off further. "What the fuck? You don't talk?" he yelled. Naruto stayed silent. Right when Sauske was about to jump up and punch him in the face, a nurse came in with a small cup with pills in it with a cup of water. "Sasuke, I have some medication for your shakes." She smiled. Sasuke grabbed them quickly and swallowed them down. He plopped back down into his bed and curled on his side. "And here is your afternoon meds Naruto, you'll get the rest after dinner, okay?" she smiled. Naruto smiled back at her and took his pills. "Thanks." He smiled and she left the room. Sasuke glanced at the clock on the wall and there were still three hours until dinner, he closed his eyes as his shakes decreased and fell asleep.

He woke up to an aide waking him for dinner, he stood up and stretched, showing off his toned, pale tummy. Naruto looked away quickly, he couldn't give away that he was gay. "You coming?" Sasuke said sleepily as he opened the door. "I'll be out." The blonde smiled. Sasuke shrugged and walked out the door. When he walked into the cafeteria, he noticed the guys and girls were separated. He sat alone and he was perfectly okay with that. When Naruto walked into the room, he sat down next to another group of guys. Food was passed out by the dietary aides, Sasuke just stared at his food, he wasn't even hungry. "Sasuke, you won't be allowed to leave the cafeteria until you eat at least 25 percent of your dinner." An aide said to him sternly. "Jesus." He cursed and stuck his fork in his chicken breast. "How long am I going to have to put up with all this shit?" he asked himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Sasuke was meeting with his therapist for the first time today, his name was Kakashi Hatake. He sat outside of his office, shaking his leg, his withdrawal symptoms were getting worse. "Damn it." He cursed under his breath.

"Sasuke?" Kakashi asked. Sasuke stood up, walking into his office and plopping down on his chair. His arms and hand were shaking severely now. "Withdrawal symptoms getting pretty bad huh?" Kakashi said, sitting down in the chair behind his desk. "Fuck you." Sasuke spat. Kakashi chuckled and scribbled on his papers on his desk. That angered Sasuke. "So besides your addiction, you've got a lot of pent up anger." He said. Sasuke stayed quiet. "Sasuke, what has made you so angry? When did you start using cocaine?" Kakashi asked. "Why does it matter?" Sasuke said, keeping his eyes away from Kakashi. "Because it's vital to your recovery." Kakashi stated. "Can you bring my best friend back from the dead? No. So I'll never recover." Sasuke yelled, he couldn't believe he just admitted that, which made him even angrier. Kakashi noticed how bad his shakes were getting, but kept his composure. "Sasuke, have you ever tried releasing all these emotions you have?" he asked. "Of course I have." Sasuke spat. "No, I mean besides smoking cocaine?" Kakashi asked. "What? You mean like cry or something? No. I'm not a fucking baby." He yelled back. "Sasuke, you're numbing your pain, and I hate to tell you that as long as you keep it bottled up, you will never get better, and your pain will last forever." Kakashi said. "How the fuck do you know? Who are you to tell me how I feel?!" the raven stood up and got into Kakashi's face. Kakashi kept his composure. "I'm going to schedule you to go to the gym tomorrow, you need to release some of this anger. You can go now." Kakashi stated. Sasuke stormed out. Kakashi sighed, Sasuke was one of the angriest patients he had ever had, this was going to be a long road to recovery.

Sasuke went back into his room and fell down face first into his pillow and screamed as loud of he could. He forgot that he had a roommate in there with him. He peered over at Naruto, scribbling in his sketchpad. He liked that he wasn't in his business, he didn't ask any question, and he stayed silent. But in a way, it sort of bothered Sasuke, he wanted to know more about this kid and why he was here. Sasuke wasn't sure why he felt this way, but he did. All he could think about was smoking, getting rid of all these thoughts in his head. Naruto peered over at Sasuke occasionally, wanting to speak, but keeping silent. Sasuke had terrible shakes, Naruto was pretty sure that he was an addict of some sort, but he wouldn't press the issue of knowing. Naruto was getting his own shakes, his left arm began to shake, but not noticeably. He hoped he could make it to his medication time. He began to scribble in his sketch pad again, it was his only muse. He peered over again at Sasuke and noticed the tattoo on his arm. The calligraphy was beautifully done and he was intrigued by it. But Naruto did what he always did, he observed and didn't speak.

The nurse knocked on the door and came in with Sasuke and Naruto's medications. Sasuke grabbed them quickly and drank them down. Naruto sipped on his drink and took his pills one at a time. "Are you alright Naruto? I see you're shaking a bit." The nurse said with concern. "Yeah, I'm fine, just a small episode." Naruto smiled. "Alright, I'll see you after dinner." She smiled and left the room. Sasuke took a deep breath, he knew the medicine would kick in shortly. "Why are you shaking?" Sasuke asked, looking over at the blonde. "Oh, um, I'm just having an episode." Naruto didn't make eye contact, he just stared at his sketch pad. "Are you an addict too?" he asked. "No…I'm not addicted to a substance, I'm addicted to cutting myself." Naruto continued to stare at his sketch. Sasuke was silent for what seemed like forever, but he then replied "Oh…well I'm addicted to cocaine, just in case you were wondering." Why he was sharing his life story with this kid, he had no idea. Naruto reminded Sasuke a lot of Sai. He was an observer, artistic, and had underlying issues he didn't wish to talk about.

"I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I love your tattoo, the calligraphy is really great, whoever did it did a wonderful job." Naruto said, still not making eye contact and scribbling something on his paper. "Oh…thanks." Sasuke said, remembering Sai and fighting the tears threatening to spill. Naruto noticed this and apologized right away. "No, no, it's alright. This a tattoo in remembrance of my friend, he died last year." Sasuke said, focusing his eyes on the ink on his arm. "I'm really sorry…" Naruto said. Sasuke stayed silent, because it wasn't alright, Sai was gone and all for those damn drugs. Sasuke's medication was taking affect so he wasn't having cravings, he was feel pure sadness. Naruto felt really bad for bringing up the tattoo, he knew he should have kept his mouth shut. Naruto scratched at his arm, trying to shake away this urge to cut himself. He was tempted to grab the piece of wire under his mattress and start digging away his feelings. His feelings were overwhelming, he couldn't even sleep at night until they gave him his medication. Naruto needed some fresh air, he shut his sketchpad and walked out of the room, leaving Sasuke alone.

Naruto went out to the courtyard and took a deep breath. Shikamaru was outside smoking, as he usually did. Shikamaru had really bad narcolepsy, and smoked to keep himself awake. "Can I bum one of those?" Naruto asked. "Sure dude." He said, handing him a cigarette and lighting it for him. Naruto exhaled the smoke and thanked him. "So how's your new roommate?" Shikamaru asked. "He's fine, I mean, he's your typical addict." Naruto said, taking a drag. "Yeah, I saw him today storming out of Kakashi's office, he seems so pissed off every time I see him." Shikamaru laughed. "Well, I think we were all pissed off when we first got here." Naruto chuckled. When Naruto arrived at Brooklane, he was put in isolation for weeks, under 24 hour surveillance to make sure he didn't harm himself. He was halfway to dead before he came to the rehab center. His arms had bandages on them for weeks. Naruto's shakes decreased and he was feeling calmer, Sasuke made him tick so easily, and that wasn't good.


	3. Chapter 3

Today was Sasuke's first group meeting, he didn't know how it would go. He was going to have to tell everyone his issues, which wasn't any of their business. Him and Naruto walked in at the same time and took their seats. Tsunade came in and sat in her chair at the center of the circle. "Everyone, we have someone new joining us today, his name is Sasuke." She said introducing him. "Hi Sasuke." Everyone said in unison. Sasuke just rolled his eyes.

Everyone began to talk about their issues. Naruto stayed silent most of the time. Then Tsunade turned to Sasuke. "Sasuke, why don't tell us about why you're here." She smiled. "Well, I'm addicted to cocaine." He said. "What started your addiction Sasuke?" she asked. "My parents always put my brother before, my dad neglected my whole family, and then my best friend died in a drug raid, it got worse after that." Sasuke said, staring at the floor. His leg began to shake, why did he just say all that? Naruto looked at Sasuke sympathetically. Tsunade kept her composure. "Thank you for sharing Sasuke." She smiled. "Does anyone want to share their story with Sasuke?" Tsunade asked. Everyone looked at Naruto, he shook his head. "Naruto, it's alright, I know you can do it." She smiled. Naruto's hands began to shake and he swallowed hard. "Well, I've been here since I tried to kill myself about 2 years ago. I'm addicted to self-harming and have relapsed many times. My parents died in a car accident when I was 4 years old. I gave myself the scars on my cheeks because I feel like a monster, like their death was my fault." Naruto tried so hard not to cry, but it was no use, he put his hands to his face and cried. "Naruto, that's enough for today honey." She smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. Group therapy went on for a bit longer, Naruto was excused to go back to his room, and Sasuke stayed and listened. He was mostly intrigued with Naruto's story and how tragic it was. He couldn't believe he had been here for two years.

Sasuke walked back to his room to find Naruto curled in the corner of his bed crying. Sasuke froze, he wasn't sure what to do. He let his instinct take over and he sat on the edge of Naruto's bed and placed a hand on his shoulder. Naruto looked up through blue, teary eyes. Sasuke gave him a small smile and Naruto continued to cry softly. He was holding a picture of what Sasuke assumed were his parents and him. Sasuke didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say. He just rubbed his hand up and down Naruto's arm for comfort. Naruto calmed down a lot after that and thanked Sasuke for comforting him.

Sasuke didn't know why this boy had made him so sensitive. He hadn't felt this way since Sai and the thought made him shake. He began to have a bad withdrawal. Naruto looked back at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Sasuke flinched away. Naruto's eyes got sad and curled back into the corner. "Naruto, no, I'm sorry, it's not you. Just memories." Sasuke said. Naruto suddenly hugged him. Sasuke wrapped his arms around him slowly, hesitant of this feeling. His heart began to beat fast. He was suddenly having less withdrawal symptoms and he was shaking less. Sasuke suddenly pulled him closer and hugged him tight. "I haven't felt like this in a long time…" Sasuke said. "Me either Sasuke…" Naruto smiled. "I need to go talk to Kakashi." Sasuke said and got up. Naruto nodded and picked up his sketchbook.

Sasuke walked into Kakashi's office. Kakashi looked up from his papers, not losing composure. Sasuke sat down. "I'm ready to talk now." Sasuke said. "Okay, go for it." Kakashi smiled. "Well, it's about Naruto." Sasuke said. "He makes you feel good?" Kakashi asked. "Yeah, he made my withdrawal go away, just by hugging him…" Sasuke smiled slightly. "That's good Sasuke, maybe you've found a good friend in Naruto." Kakashi said. "I'm just so scared now. I'm getting close to him and I promised not to do this again. I made a promise after Sai died to never get close to anyone again. I wanted to die when I lost him." Sasuke wiped his eyes. "Sasuke, do you realize why you used cocaine so much?" Kakashi asked. "To numb myself…" Sasuke said and he broke down. "Oh my God, I need help." Sasuke cried. Kakashi sighed and walked around to Sasuke and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You've made your break through Sasuke. Are you ready to get better?" Kakashi asked. "Yes…yes I am." Sasuke said. "This is the beginning to a long recovery Sasuke. You will have days where it gets rough, but you have to stay strong." Kakashi said. "I know, I'm ready." Sasuke said and got up and left.

Sasuke went back to his room, Naruto had left. Sasuke was looking at his drawings on the wall, they were almost as good as Sai's paintings, if not better. They were dark and depressing drawings. Naruto did once say that his drawings were his feelings on paper. The PA alarm sounded in the hall way. "All nurses to the first floor infirmary with a crash cart, stat!" and then nurses were rushing down the hallways. Sasuke peeked out, an aide instructed him to stay in his room. This was serious.

Sasuke slipped out and followed down the hallway. Other patients were standing outside the infirmary, aides were trying to keep them back. "We're gonna lose him!" a nurse screamed. "He's bleeding through the bandages!" "Apply pressure!" they were all different voices. "Clear!" and Sasuke heard a shock. "Come on Naruto, stay with us!" and Sasuke panicked. Sasuke pushed through the nurses and two of the males had to hold him back. "Naruto! Damn it, let me go!" Sasuke screamed. Kakashi ran out of his office, Iruka, Naruto's therapist, running behind him. "We got a pulse!" and the monitor began to beep. Sasuke was shaking furiously. "Sasuke, you need to breathe." Kakashi said, setting him down on the floor. "Please, I, I, just need my fix, dear God, anything." He said, he noticed the medicine cart and ran towards it, kicking and shaking it. "Sasuke!" Kakashi grabbed him and Sasuke turned and punched him. Nurses contained him and took him to isolation. Kakashi wasn't shocked, highly stressful situation would cause Sasuke to have a very bad withdrawal.

Naruto was resting easily in isolation. He was on 24 hour surveillance, Iruka was in his room every day until he was considered stable enough to return to his room. His room was stripped and knives and handmade objects were found, Naruto was stripped clean of all of his utensils. "Iruka, I just, I don't know…" he began. "Naruto, you need to learn to accept your feelings and cope with them in the right way." He said, eyes soft. "Killing myself would have taken it all away, I just want to fucking die, let me die!" he screamed and began to cry. A stitch in his arm broke and the nurses came in to change it. He was flailing and fighting them. "No, please, just let me bleed, I don't wanna be here anymore, damn it, please!" he was screaming so loud his voice began to crack. They gave him a shot of morphine and he was knocked out.

Sasuke was depressed, but mostly angry. He just got out of isolation and apologized to Kakashi. He really didn't mean to hit him, he lost all control of himself and that's why he was so angry. Sasuke kicked his dresser and punched the wall. His anger was getting worse. The nurse brought in his medication and he swallowed it quickly. "Sasuke, they've increased your anxiety medication, so this might make you sleepy." She smiled. Even after his freak out, no one seemed to look at him differently, is there anything these people haven't seen? Sasuke was so worried about Naruto and they wouldn't let him see him and couldn't tell him his condition because of confidentiality, but he knew that Naruto had tried to commit suicide again and he didn't know what had driven him to the edge. But Sasuke had a feeling it was because of him, and luckily his medication was starting to kick in because his withdrawals were beginning.


	4. Chapter 4

Naruto was released from isolation and he was nervous to see Sasuke again. Sasuke probably didn't even want to look at him now. Naruto arms were covered in white bandages, and his friends were giving him sad looks when he walked by. He was never going to leave Brooklane and he knew it. He was completely unstable and he couldn't handle any amount of stress.

Naruto walked into his room, Sasuke was on his bed with his hands to his face, shaking. "Sasuke…" Naruto began. Sasuke shot up and ran to hug him immediately. Sasuke hugged him tighter, like he would disappear if he let go. "I'm not sure why you do this to me, but God, never do that again." Sasuke said, words catching in his throat. Naruto hugged him back and tried not to cry. He was glad Sasuke wasn't treating him differently. "Naruto, we haven't known each other long, but I connect with you…I, I can't lose another friend." And for the first time in a long time, Sasuke let the tears roll down his face. He placed his arm over top of his tattoo and cried. Naruto just stared at him, not saying anything, but understanding. "This is why I need the drugs, I don't want to feel, I want to forget all the bullshit." He said. Naruto hugged him, tightly. "I'm here for you Sasuke, I'm sorry I scared you." Naruto whispered and they held each other for what seemed like ages.

Sasuke stared at the bandages on Naruto's arms and look into Naruto's eyes. Naruto smiled. Sasuke traced the bandages with his thumb. The dinner bell rang and they both shot up and walked to supper.

Everything seemed normal, but dysfunction was the norm here. Nobody really seemed to comment on what happened to Naruto, or why he did it. Sasuke's withdrawals were acting up at dinner, so he wasn't eating much. The nurse escorted him back to his room.

"So Naruto, new guy doesn't talk much does he?" his friend Gaara said. "No, he's got a lot going on up there." Naruto said. "Which one of us doesn't?" Kiba said and they all laughed. Sad, but true. "Naruto, he seems a bit…I don't know, possessive of you." Shikamaru said. "No way." Naruto said. "Dude, really? He glares at every person that looks at you, he's one scary mother fucker." Kiba said. "I mean, I guess." Naruto giggled. "Let's just say, I wouldn't want to be on his bad side." Shikamaru said. Naruto's head began to run in circles around what his friends were saying. Truthfully, Sasuke was all he thought about anymore and they had only met just a month ago. Naruto knew he would never leave this place, but what will happen when Sasuke can leave? Naruto wouldn't even cross his mind after that. Naruto stopped eating right then, he was getting really depressed. "Come on man, don't get all bent out of shape, it's okay." Gaara said. "No, no, it's nothing you guys said." Naruto laughed.

Naruto asked to be excused from supper and after observing his plate, they allowed it. He had eaten enough before he got upset to get out of it. This place was like a prison, but not as bad as the one in his own mind.

When Naruto got back to his room, he noticed Sasuke was already asleep. Naruto figured it was due to his medication. He made his was slowly to his dresser for his night clothes and slid into bed. Naruto couldn't sleep yet though. It was far too early for his mind to allow sleep. He turned on his desk lamp and brought out his sketch pad, but he wasn't sure what to draw. Then the raven stirred, turning towards him, still asleep. Naruto smiled and his hand began to move the pencil. He drew Sasuke curled up in his bed, exactly as he was witnessing in front of him. He sat there for hours making the perfect picture of Sasuke. He smiled at his finished work. Naruto felt a ping in his chest, one he hadn't felt for a long time. And the first thought to cross his mind was that he wanted to kiss Sasuke.

Naruto's heart started racing and he became frantic. His room was just cleared out of all of his homemade cutting instruments. So he did the smart thing. He took a deep breath and asked the medicine aide for his medication. She took all of his vitals because he was sweating. His pulse, blood pressure, and respirations were elevated from the anxiety. She put all of his pills in a tiny plastic cup. Two different anti-depressants, a mood stabilizer, a muscle relaxer, and an anxiety pill. This was Naruto's daily routine of medication, he felt like a lunatic. Due to his elevated anxiety, the nurse ordered that the aides check on him every fifteen minutes. He wasn't going to kill himself, but he didn't blame them for checking on him. Naruto did his breathing exercises and tried to keep himself calm. About an hour later his medication started to kick in and he was getting drowsy. He turned off his light, shut his notebook, and let his medication drift him to sleep.

/~***~\\\\\

Sasuke woke up around seven o'clock, he had fallen asleep after dinner, around six-thirty. Breakfast wasn't until eight, so he got dressed and bummed a cigarette off of one of the janitors. He saw that a few other people were up watching TV and drinking coffee. Sasuke poured himself a cup of coffee, black, no sugar, and went to sit in the courtyard. He was out there by himself which he enjoyed. Coffee and a cigarette was exactly what he needed today, his parents were coming to visit.

/~***~\\\\\

Naruto and Sasuke sat together at breakfast, Naruto observed Sasuke's nervous behavior, but kept quiet. It was visiting day, and he was excited to see Jiraiya and Tsunade. They always brought him a little something to remember his real parents by. Naruto realized that Sasuke didn't want to see his parents at all.

Sasuke sat in the lounge waiting for his parents, his legs were bouncing up and down and was staring at the floor, and then he heard his mother's soft voice and turned his head around slowly. His mother stood there with a soft smile on her face and his father had his normal stern face on. Sasuke managed a weak smile and hugged his mother. "It's so great to see you, you look so healthy." She began to cry. As much as she annoyed Sasuke at times, he loved his mother, she always cared about him, and she was the only reason he ever felt bad for his drug use.

His father didn't speak much, which was normal, but it irritated Sasuke. "How is everything going? Are you getting along with everyone?" his mother asked. "Yeah, my roommate is pretty cool, his name is Naruto. He's an artist." Sasuke smiled. "I'm glad to hear that." She said. "We brought you some things from home." His father finally spoke and sat a box on the table. Inside was his hackie sack, Sai's obituary, a photo of him and Sai, one of his band shirts, a hoodie, his iPod, and his journal. He thanked his parents and then he read the date of Sai's death, it would be a year next week.

"Sasuke, Itachi is going to pick you up next week on Wednesday, we got it approved by your therapist. He's going to take you to see Sai's grave." His mother spoke softly, she knew he was upset. "Okay..." Sasuke said. "We better go now…" his father said, and pat him on the back. His mother kissed him on the forehead. "We love you son." She whispered and they left. Sasuke just stared at Sai's picture for what seemed like hours.


	5. Chapter 5

Sasuke couldn't sleep the night before, he just stared at the ceiling and listened to Naruto's even breaths. It calmed him, Naruto calmed him, and he was scared of that. Sasuke glanced at the clock, it read 7:05 AM. He hadn't slept at all and Itachi would be there after breakfast. He pushed the covers back and tiptoed into the bathroom, trying to let Naruto sleep. He splashed his face with cold water, he had dark circles under his eyes, his stomach hurt, he wasn't sure he was ready for this. He slipped on a pair of baggy blue jeans, a grey v-neck shirt, and a solid black hoodie. He rolled the sleeves up to his elbows so his tattoo could show. He looked out of the small caged window in his bathroom, it was going to rain today.

Sasuke sat on the side of his bed, staring at the floor and tapping his foot to the music playing on his iPod. Naruto blinked his eyes open around 7:45. He stretched and then stared at Sasuke. Sasuke had told Naruto about Sai, and he knew today would be hard for him. So he did what he did best, he stayed silent. When Naruto's feet hit the floor, Sasuke looked up at him, his eyes dull. Naruto managed a small smile and walked to the bathroom. Sasuke continued to stare at the floor, his stomach was getting more upset by the minute. He waited for Naruto to get ready for the day and they walked to the dining room together in silence. Both of them were quiet the entire time. Naruto ate most of his breakfast because he knew Sasuke wasn't going to take his eye off of him. Sasuke played with his food and the nurses were getting stern with him, he was starting to shake so they left him alone. A nurse tapped on his shoulder and told him that Itachi was there to take him out. Sasuke swallowed hard, his stomach was turning. Naruto placed his hand on top of Sasuke's. Sasuke looked at him and was a lot calmer than before. He squeezed Naruto's hand and got up. Itachi hugged him tight and Sasuke did in return. Naruto was going to worry all day.

/~***~\\\\\

Sasuke stayed quiet the whole ride to the cemetery. "Sasuke, I know how hard this is going to be for you." Itachi whispered. "Don't…don't…please." Sasuke started to tear up. Itachi sighed. They pulled into the cemetery parking lot. Sasuke took a shaky hand and opened the door. The walk to his grave seemed to take forever, but then he stood right in front of it. Sasuke stared for what seemed like forever. The wind was beginning to blow and Sasuke kneeled in front of his friends' headstone. "Sai…" he whispered. And at that moment, he thought he heard Sai's voice and he lost it. He broke down completely. "Man, I miss you so fucking much, I fucking need you man, come back!" he screamed. He began to claw at the ground beneath him. Itachi ran over to him and embraced his brother. "Sasuke, Sasuke, stop! It's okay, it's okay!" Itachi said. Sasuke struggled against him and started hitting him as hard as he could, but Itachi didn't let go. Sasuke was shaking so hard, that he couldn't continue the struggle. "I wanna be with him! I can't go on like this! I need my fix!" he cried. Itachi took Sasuke's face in his hands. "Sasuke, no, you are doing so well in therapy! Sai wouldn't want you to end up the way he did. He wants you to get better!" Itachi was starting to get teary-eyed. Sasuke buried his head in his brothers' chest and let him hold him. Then it started to rain.

Itachi walked Sasuke back to the car and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders. He stopped at a gas station and picked him up a coffee and a pack of cigarettes. Sasuke didn't speak the rest of the time. Itachi walked him to his room and set him up in bed and went to talk to the nurse. Sasuke needed a cigarette. He walked outside, in the pouring rain, and dragged from his cigarette. He shook vigorously. He sat in the rain and let the rain wash away his tears.

He sat in the lounge by himself, sipping his coffee, soaking wet. The janitor came up to him. "Hey kid, looks like you need an escape." He smirked. "What's it to you?" Sasuke spat. "Oh, nothing for me, but something in store for you." The janitor reached into his pocket. "I like you man, so I'm gonna give you a sample of this fine blow." The janitor handed Sasuke a baggy with enough cocaine to get him high. Sasuke didn't think, he grabbed it and ran. He snuck into the kitchen and grabbed some tinfoil. He asked the janitor if he could use the closet. He smirked and let him in.

Sasuke prepared his cocaine and lit it up. He inhaled and for the first time in months, he was in a pure state of euphoria. He lied down and he finished his cocaine. "Sai…I will be with you soon bro." he whispered.

/~***~\\\\\

Sasuke woke up in the infirmary. They caught him. Sasuke was twitching. He immediately wanted another hit of blow, but now he knew he would be in here forever. His mother was outside crying, his father was holding her, and his brother was sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. Sasuke punched the wall next to him. "God fucking damnit." He screamed. Kakashi walked in after that and sat down next to Sasuke. Sasuke couldn't look at him. "We're back to day one Sasuke, I had a feeling your relapse was imminent. The janitor has been fired, the facility has had a full drug search, and you will return to your room after the cocaine is out of your system. You will be on a fifteen minute check schedule, you will be escorted by a staff member for the first week off of isolation." He said. All Sasuke could say was "Does Naruto know?" Kakashi looked at him and sighed. "Word travels fast around here Sasuke, he will find out soon enough. Don't worry about him, he is also on fifteen minute checks, you were keeping him clean. Believe it or not, he needs you." Sasuke's heart sank at that moment. "I need him more than he will ever need me." He admitted. "What you just said is an amazing start to your recovery Sasuke." Kakashi smiled and left the room. He needed to see Naruto, he needed to apologize, and he needed a cigarette.

/~***~\\\\\

Naruto curled up in his bed and cried. He had just found out that Sasuke relapsed. He scratched vigorously at his arms and they were beginning to bleed. He clutched his head with his hands and bit down on his pillow to stop from screaming. The nurse walked in to give him a mild tranquilizer and a pill to put him to sleep. She wrapped up his arms tight so he couldn't dig at them and checked on him every fifteen minutes. Naruto slept for over fourteen hours and missed his first meal. He managed to eat a muffin leftover from breakfast. He took tiny sips of water and lied around most of the day. He didn't speak at all. He was lost in his own mind. His arms were swollen and tender from the night before and he was drowsy all day. He went in and out of sleep. He ate half of a sandwich at lunch and no dinner. Later on that evening, he collapsed in the hallway. His blood sugar was 55 and his blood pressure was low. They forced him to drink a nutrition shake and drink a ginger ale. "I feel dead. And I should be." He whispered to himself, letting the slow drip of his IV put him back to sleep.


End file.
